Episode 20 part 3: Life can change in an instant with Dr. Maura Lipp
Part 3 with Dr. Maura Lipp.
Dr. Lipp always wanted to be a physician. Like all physicians, there was a long road to get where she was and being a doctor was her entire identity. Like many mid-career physicians, especially after COVID, she began to doubt her career choice. She went from fully committed to her career to feeling like she just didn’t know if she wanted to do it anymore.
That all changed in one day.
Over the course of 2 weeks, she noted shortness of breath and abdominal distention. As physicians, we ignore our symptoms. Eventually she went to an urgent care for a chest x-ray then ultimately a CT scan of the abdomen. She drank the contrast for the CT scan while at work, and that was the last day she worked as an ICU doctor. The CT scan showed stage IV cancer, initially thought to be ovarian.
Her career and her identity were taken away in an instant. The choice was no longer hers. Because now she can’t go back to work, and all she wants to do it go back to it. She underwent chemotherapy and surgery and is not certain that she will be able to get back to work. She must question her entire identity.
As a palliative care physician, she looked back to what she told her patients. Not losing hope but changing what you hope for. But she hasn’t figured out a way yet to be happy with her small goals yet. She questioned whether she was even helpful as a palliative care doctor. She knew how fragile life was, but not until it happened to her. It’s ultimately lonely because you and only you are going through it.
Changing the mindset is important when you feel like you are losing everything.
She had advice to give others who are dealing with a devastating illness:
-Don’t hide anything from your loved one. Don’t worry about upsetting the person, they are already upset. We don’t protect them by hiding
-Let others help you, even if it is uncomfortable
-It was tough answering all the same questions at first (she now has a Facebook group where she can post updates and friends and family can reach out to her).
-Get involved with palliative care early on- it is so important for anyone dealing with a devastating diagnosis. To have her nurse practitioner there for her to call and go through this journey with her was invaluable, and to help with how hard it is to navigate the system.
-What is that you miss the most from work? (It’s not the EMR!). It’s the people, being connected, your social life and your family
-Maybe you didn’t lose everything. Maybe you can put back the most important things. Maybe the hole is not as big as you think it is
-Things that helped her- messages from people- just say hi and what she meant to them.
And advice to all physicians: She let medicine be her identity to a fault. Become more balanced early on. Look at how you are paid, and do you have enough disability insurance.
